snow_exchange | A snowflake for acrobaticlove!

Title: closest articulation of the violent love
Pairings: Meguro Ren/Miyadate Ryota (with side Abe Ryohei/Mukai Koji)
Genres: Office AU. drama, romance (kinda?)
Rating: M
Summary: Meguro Ren is always a little wild, but he’s not looking to be tamed. He just wants to give himself away–and Miyadate Ryota is that lucky one. He doesn’t necessarily realize this, given the nature of their relationship. (or, Ryota and Ren are friends with benefits and fellow colleagues. Ryota tries to keep it under wraps, but Ren has other ideas.)
Warnings: yandere elements such as obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, non-consensual touching, hints of stalking and brief description of drugging. blowjob, marking, somnophilia (...kind of?). unreliable narrators.
Author's notes: title taken from “transubstantiate, redux or, sublimating lucy whilst at church,” by caroline randall williams. special thanks to mods of snow_exchange and beta-san for proofing my work <3 this has been a hell to write, but it’s been fun! i ventured towards new things with this (lol) i also tried to put as many things in your want to read list as i could to this fic. i hope you like this, my dearest recipient!

Beeping sounds welcome him as Ryota steps into the genkan of his apartment.

As Ryota closes the door behind him, the dim lighting from the lamp above his head helps him navigate the room. He almost falls when he toes off his shoe, the heels making him lose balance so often that Ryota has to grab a side of the wall. After a little fight with his footwear, Ryota puts them on the shoe rack. Exhaustion makes him unaware of the little details–that there is another pair of dress shoes on his rack, that the light is already on when he gets in, that there is a scent of warm food starting to waft to his nose as he walks into his house.

“Oh, Date-san. You’re home?”

A bang of pans, clang of wood scraping metal, and a low voice so familiar. Ryota blinks when he sees a man wearing a neat, white shirt with sleeves rolled up haphazardly with a wooden spatula in one hand and a frying pan full of something in another standing in his kitchen. It takes a little bit of time as Ryota processes the sight before him, as Meguro Ren slowly grins sheepishly and puts down both the spatula and the pan at the stove before turning it off. He knows that he should have said something here: asking the reason why Meguro is here, what is he cooking and why did he do that, things like that. But all the words almost spilling out of his mouth gets swallowed as Meguro crosses the room and hugging him so tight Ryota loses his breath.

“Meguro.”

Ryota’s hands are limp at his side as Meguro’s arms snaked around his torso, embracing him like he never wanna let go. Their considerable height difference makes Meguro crouches a little that his face is nestled snugly on Ryota’s collarbone. As much as Ryota wants to struggle and release himself from this hug, he knows it’s a fight he would lose when he feels the embrace becoming tighter. So Ryota sighs and instead relaxes his body, with one hand reaching out to pat Meguro’s forehead.

“Why are you here?” His inquiry is almost muffled by the cotton of Meguro’s shirt. But by the way the younger man shifts his body and adjusts his hold on Ryota’s waist, he thinks it’s being heard clearly.

There is a hum before Meguro answers, “Nothing. Just missed you.”

That earns him a quirk of eyebrows from Ryota. Meguro leans back so their eyes can meet, still with that silly little soft smile on his lips. (Ryota kind of wishes Meguro would stop smiling at him like that.) His gaze is so earnest when he tells the older man, “Really,” and Ryota sighs, again, because he knows that there is always a truth so simple in whatever Meguro lets out of his lips. Ryota also knows that Meguro has ulterior motives when he talks like that, because right now the taller man is leaning down and trying to close the gap between their faces, trying to capture his lips in a kiss.

Unfortunately, Ryota is not in the mood to accommodate Meguro.

“No.”

Ryota leans back as far as he can to deflect Meguro’s attempt. His arms stretched out, pushing the younger man’s chest at the same time. He can see the pout starting to form at Meguro’s lips and the puppy eyes shooting stares at him, but Ryota stays steadfast in his decision.

“Then later…?” It’s kind of admirable how persistent Meguro is. Usually Meguro backs down when Ryota tells him no, but maybe because there’s no reason listed he tries to push Ryota’s bottom line.

(How pushy.)

Ryota shakes his head as he tries to untangle himself from Meguro’s grip. “No.”

“Hmm.”

Only after that Meguro relents. He loosens his hug, freeing Ryota from his embrace in the process. He exhales as he takes a step back to widen the gap between them. Meguro is looking at him like what Ryota is doing is funny. Ryota could care less for that. He makes a beeline towards the kitchen then, to see what Meguro is trying to cook there. (How the hell the other man knows where Ryota put his ingredients and utensils is also the question floating inside his mind, but he keeps his mouth shut for now.)

The once forgotten frying pan is full of rice, brown from soy sauce with bits of colors from the frozen vegetable he kept in the fridge. There are some slices of bacon, something that Ryota would normally not add to his fried rice, but because the one who made this was Meguro Ren, he let it be. As he inspects the food, Meguro’s footsteps down the hall start getting louder. Ryota can feel his presence behind him a few minutes later. He ignores that in favor of getting a smaller pan out from the cabinet. He also takes three eggs out the basket, holding one in his hand as if weighing it.

“Sunny side up or omelet?” Ryota doesn’t turn around as he asks, trusting Meguro to answer it.

There is some rustling as another echo of steps is heard, something solid and warm colliding with his back, trapping him between the cabinet and another body. A long arm reaches out, taking out a container of cooking oil from its place on the cabinet from behind his body. He freezes for a second, surprise making him almost lose his hold on the egg. But Ryota is nothing but steady–so he straightens his spine, stealing a glance at Meguro who is still crowding him, trying his best to act nonchalant.

“Meguro?”

“Sunny side up, please, Date-san.”

Ryota hums his acknowledgment. “Heat up the rice again and scoop it up after, would you?” He asks because he knows Meguro would just try to take his chance again if Ryota lets him be. Giving Meguro a task is a tactic in itself–it would divert his attention and make him feel useful, thus stopping his advances.

Ryota knows he won this one when he no longer can feel Meguro from his back, when he hears the stove turning on and the hum of agreement, when he can sense the body heat is moving to his side. Standing side by side with Meguro is more tolerable than them almost back hugging.

“Thank you.” His gratitude is whispered, inaudible because of the oil splattering and the hiss of food inside the pan, but when Meguro nudges his shoulder Ryota knows it reaches his sole audience.

(Their dinner is a quiet affair. No words exchanged, no small talk. Meguro stayed the night. They sleep on the same bed, Meguro holding Ryota like a bolster and snuggling close like a puppy. In the morning, Meguro is already upside down on the bed. Ryota gets up first, makes him coffee and lets him steal a kiss after Meguro wakes up.

It tastes more bitter than sweet. Ryota licks his lips and Meguro chases it with his tongue, once again locking him in a heated embrace. Meguro has to rush back home because they spent too long making out. Ryota watches him go, lets out a breath that he’s been holding, and closes the door behind him. He makes a mental note to change his door’s passcode later.)

.

.

Miyadate Ryota is a simple man.

He lives his life according to a set of rules that he made himself, a principle that he follows himself. It makes him look uptight sometimes, but he is really a simple guy underneath. Unfortunately, his resting blank face tends to get there first and renders whatever easygoing vibe he has useless. This is the reason why Raul, the new intern in his division, is standing so stiffly in his office room trying to recite a report purely from memory. Ryota listens to it absentmindedly, trying to not interrupt Raul’s rambling even though the boy is already repeating three points of the report, because he doesn’t really want to make the poor boy more intimidated by him.

But lunch hour is nearing, Raul seems stuck, and Ryota knows the boy must be hungry after finishing his first full report. There is already a soft copy of said report on his work mail inbox, so Ryota can just read it and give revisions after. (He doesn’t really understand why Raul would report it to him firsthand, when their company policy never really has a guideline that says a summary must be divulged directly to the supervisor.) So, after a long bout of deliberation inside his head, Ryota thinks that it’s time for them to stop.

“Okay, Raul–”

Ryota puts down the pages he’s reading, in time to see Raul wince. But before he can continue his words, there is a knock on the door. Both Ryota and Raul sigh simultaneously. He says, “Come in,” and when the door opens, there is Meguro Ren wearing a baby blue shirt paired with cleanly-ironed cotton pants walking in. Ryota can hear Raul gasps, while he himself stares at the newcomer with unblinking eyes.

“Date-san,” Meguro says softly while holding his gaze and nodding his head. “I want to–oh.” Only after Meguro turns his head to the right a little he seems to realize Raul’s existence. (A wonder, to be honest, as Raul is so big he’s like a walking billboard.) “You’re here too, Raul.”

“Hi, Meme.” The boy squeaks, seemingly a little surprised by Meguro’s appearance.

Meguro nods his head again at the younger boy before focusing his gaze back at Ryota. “I wonder if you have time to eat lunch with me at the cafeteria?” He asks so gently that Ryota doesn’t seem to have the will to refuse. There is nothing pressing on his agenda for the next few hours too, so he can afford to make time to have lunch with Meguro. While Ryota is deliberating on this, he hears Meguro adding: “Raul can come too, if he wants to,” almost like a consideration, said so kindly.

Ryota blinks as Raul chokes in the background.

“I won’t be intruding?” Raul asks hesitatingly after recovering, eyes sparkling like he really wants to say yes but being considerate of… something. Ryota doesn’t know what it is, and he doesn’t want to know, so he just answers: “As long as you’re comfortable eating with your supervisor,” because he knows some people might find that too daunting.

Raul looks at him, and then at Meguro, then at him again, before nodding his head shyly. Meguro smiles at the younger man before beaming up at him, like he’s satisfied with something. Ryota shakes his head before letting Raul go back to his cubicle. Meguro follows suit, without as much as saying goodbye to him, which makes Ryota frown a little before dismissing it.

(Well.

This might be a payback for that night. Ryota supposes it’s only fair.)

So when Ryota comes down to the company’s cafeteria, he already sees Raul and Meguro sitting together at a table near the window. There are plates of food and some drinks on said table already, making him wonder if he’s the one moving too slowly or these young men are just faster and efficient in ordering things. Meguro spots him standing at the entrance and waves his hand to beckon him. Raul also does the same gesture, but smaller.

Ryota approaches them while waving back, an acknowledgement that he sees them. As he gets nearer to the table, he realizes the only empty seat is beside Meguro–as the one beside Raul is occupied by a bag full of documents. He doesn’t know what document it is and whose it is, so he doesn’t comment on that. Ryota sits beside Meguro without much fanfare as he surveys their menu.

There is a plate of curry rice with tempura, a plate of set meal of beef over rice, and (somehow) a plate of spaghetti carbonara with two grapefruit-ade and a cup of ocha. Ryota thinks he knows which one is his, but before he can make a guess out loud, the pasta plate is being pushed to him by Meguro. Ryota glances at the man beside him, who just smiles as he pushes at him the glass of grapefruit-ade too.

“I ordered your favorite, Date-san,” Meguro says, and Ryota just hums in response.

His thanks is only conveyed by a nod of head as he takes a fork. Meguro smiles at him before taking his own plate (the beef over rice and ocha are his, Ryota notes) and starts preparing his utensils. Ryota then turns his head towards Raul, who is looking at them with those big eyes of him and blinking owlishly, his own chopsticks and spoon still on those big hands.

“Eat your fill, Raul.” Ryota reminds him with a smile. “You’ll need it to work on the revisions I will give you.”

Raul blushes and does as he says, fumbling with his chopstick as he tries to eat. Ryota chuckles before doing the same.

(Ryota doesn’t realize the darkening of Meguro’s glare as he looks at both him and Raul, how he grips his chopsticks so tight his veins almost burst out. Because when Ryota steals a glance at him, Meguro is frowning at his bowl in concentration as he tries to inhale his beef.)

.

.

“Ah, Date-san.”

Ryota looks up from the report he is poring over to see Meguro waving his hands at him from the ajar door of this meeting room. He blinks, a little hesitant to do the same because he is not alone here. Iwamoto and Fukazawa, who were discussing something on the seat across from him, paused their conversation upon realizing that there was someone at the door. There is a slight smile tugging at Iwamoto’s lips as Fukazawa huffs, half-annoyed and half-teasing, when he calls out to the younger man.

“Hello to you too, Meme.”

Meguro chuckles sheepishly when he opens the door and steps in. “Sorry, Fukka-san. I didn’t see you there,” he says as he walks closer to their area, while Fukazawa rolls his eyes. “You don’t see Iwamossan over here too?” The older man raises his hand to gestures at Iwamoto, who is currently side-eyeing his companion. Meguro bows his head, apologetic, as Iwamoto swats at Fukazawa’s hand.

“No… Sorry, Iwamoto-san.” Now Meguro is standing behind Ryota’s chair, his tall body casting some kind of shadow on the paper Ryota is currently holding. (It makes things harder to read and he didn’t bring his glasses, so Ryota can only put it down for the time being.) There is a creak as Meguro drags the chair beside Ryota out of the table before he sits there, head turning to Iwamoto and Fukazawa direction (and in turn, to Ryota too) with a beatific smile on that handsome face. “I could only see Date-san from where I was.”

“Riiight.” Fukazawa sneers while pulling his hand back, meanwhile Iwamoto is now the one rolling his eyes at him.

(Ryota, very wisely, doesn’t comment on any of it.)

It takes a little nudging from the muscular man for Fukazawa to stop making faces at Meguro, which the younger man accepts with a smile, as Iwamoto raises his eyebrows at him. “Where’s Sakuma? He’s the one who is supposed to be here, right?”

“Ah,” Meguro blinks, as if trying to recall an information, before nodding his head. “Senpai is currently preoccupied with an urgent sudden revision of one of our videos, so I am now substituting him for our division.” He rummages through the bag he’s holding and takes out a bundle of documents. “This is the copy of the report senpai asked me to give you.”

Meguro distributes the copies to Iwamoto, to Fukazawa, and then to Ryota himself. While he passes the documents to Iwamoto and Fukazawa swiftly, Meguro is kind of taking his time with Ryota’s part. Who the hell would let their fingers brush over some pages of paper while handing it over to someone? Ryota would not. (Meguro would, though, because that’s exactly what he’s doing right now. Touching Ryota’s fingers sneakily like they’re in an old school romance novel or something.)

Ryota can feel Fukazawa’s gaze on them from where he’s sitting (in front of him, actually) so he pulls his hand from Meguro’s grip and clears his throat. Thankfully Meguro doesn’t say anything after that, so does Fukazawa. Iwamoto just looks at them all with an unimpressed glance before taking a deep breath and gathering the documents on the table in his hands.

“Let’s start the mini-meeting, then.”

Despite his earlier shenanigans, Meguro doesn’t do anything funny during the discussion. It’s just that sometimes Ryota would feel a nudge on his calf under the table and he had to suppress the urge to slap Meguro’s thigh to make him stop. He still can feel Fukazawa’s eyes on them, but he tries to ignore that in favor of listening to Iwamoto talk about sales and development and taking notes, as he should be.

Later, after the meeting ends and they’re cleaning up the space, Ryota gets nudged in the arms by Iwamoto as he passes by with Fukazawa at his side.

“Huh?”

“Congrats, Date-san.” Iwamoto grins at him while dragging Fukazawa away. Fukka pouts at his companion before turning to Ryota and winks at him, mouthing congratulations!! as they go.

Ryota stares after their retreating figure blankly, unable to comprehend what the hell are they saying or what is their meaning, when Meguro slides to his side and tugs at his arms. He glances at Meguro, who is still keeping his eyes on Ryota with a tender smile on his lips, who asks him, “Let’s go home,” softly, like it’s something they do regularly.

(It makes Ryota frown, because they don’t do this. Meguro usually doesn’t do that either, trying to touch him during office hours–no matter how subtle and how innocent. Ryota thinks they need to reinforce some rules on this game they play.)

“No.” Ryota grabs Meguro's arms decisively before dragging him outside the meeting room. Meguro lets him and they walk together along the corridor almost side by side. “I have something to talk with you about.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

There it is, the door of this floor’s bathroom. Ryota opens it and pushes Meguro inside before he follows suit and locks the door. He makes a maneuver to change their position so Meguro is the one leaning on the door now, as Ryota sits on the toilet cover with his chin raised. He watches as Meguro’s eyes light up, as he kneels in front of him slowly, as he puts his hands gingerly on Ryota’s knees and looks up at him with such adoring eyes.

Ryota reaches out to touch Meguro’s cheek, stroking the side of his face quietly, while whispering the question. “Do you know why I got you here, Meguro?”

Meguro keeps his back straight as he ponders over Ryota’s question. A few beats pass before the younger man shakes his head and blinks, before answering, “I don’t know, Date-san,” like the good boy he is.

Ryota sighs because he doesn’t know if this answer is genuine or not, because he needs to display his disappointment to Meguro, just because. His gentle touch on Meguro’s cheek stops as he takes his hand back, prim and proper, balled on his own lap. Meguro’s eyes follow its movement and stop there too–but rather than his fingers, Ryota thinks it’s more apt to think that Meguro is staring at his crotch.

“Didn’t we agree that there would be no funny business during work hours? That you would behave and won’t try touching me when we’re in front of others?” Ryota asks softly, the cadence of his voice filling the room with something heavy. Meguro blinks slowly before nodding his head, looking especially docile with his current posture. “Don’t do that again.”

“Sorry, Date-san.”

It’s almost funny how Meguro looks when he is chastised. The downturned corners of his mouth, his shoulder dropping just a little, and how restless his fingers are moving across Ryota’s knees. Ryota almost laughs but he keeps his stoic face intact.

Their arrangement is meant to be a secret one. While this company has a relaxed policy regarding same sex relationships and LGBTQ in general, and dating within the workforce is still something that is allowed, Ryota still… doesn’t think it’s appropriate to flaunt his relationship with Meguro that way.

Because Meguro is just a colleague, anyway. One who occasionally has sex with him.

That is why Ryota is not really surprised when the younger man’s fingers now skim along the seams of his pants, caressing his thigh through the fabric so slowly. Meguro taps on his knees, asking for permission to spread his legs apart, and Ryota lets him. Now Meguro is situated between his knees, with those long, long fingers grabbing and kneading the meat of Ryota’s thighs and his face so close to his crotch Ryota can feel his hot breath hit his clothed dick.

“Let me make it up to you?”

Ryota hums, feigning disinterest as Meguro’s fingers travel upwards. “By what?”

Meguro nuzzles at the side of his thigh, peering up when he tells Ryota, “Please let me suck you off, Date-san.”

“Mmph.” Ryota closes his eyes before letting his balled up fist relax. Once again he reaches out, curls his fingers around the nape and strokes the patch of skin there and brushes the hair falling down on his knuckle. Up, then down. Up, then down. He can feel Meguro stiffen up before melting upon that touch. As Ryota opens his eyes once again, he stares at the top of the younger man's head when he gives his permission: “Allowed.”

And so that’s all Meguro needs to hear before he moves to undo the zipper of Ryota’s slack. With his teeth, because his hands are otherwise preoccupied with stimulating the area around Ryota’s crotch. All the stroking and kneading and grabbing Meguro does manage to make Ryota half-hard, but seeing him so impatient in trying to make it up to him makes his blood rushes south. That’s also why he’s so cooperative when Meguro peels his slack, to lift his hip and let Meguro slide the pants down until it reaches his knees.

Ryota shivers as he sees Meguro eyeing his bulge. It’s not the first time he sees it, obviously, but this scene reminds him too much of the first time they hooked up–not the same bathroom, of course, but in a similar position: Meguro on his knees and Ryota opening his legs up for him. The only difference is that they don’t have adrenaline provided by alcohol this time. That this is a decision made by a sober mind.

Ryota holds his breath as Meguro mouths at the fabric of his underwear. That makes a wet patch on it. He peels them just enough to let the older man’s cock spring out, hard and plenty stimulated, before stroking it with his bare hand. There is no lube and the leftover spit clinging to his undies (and his dick too, in a way) is of course not enough to make the stroking comfortable, but Ryota doesn’t really mind. He likes the slight pain it brings him. Either way, it doesn’t matter because Meguro only does it to make him hard enough.

Look: after he sees that Ryota’s dick is standing upright, Meguro starts opening his mouth, letting his tongue licks its tip slowly. Ryota tightens his hold on Meguro’s nape as he slowly feels his hardness is being engulfed by something warm and wet, as he feels Meguro trying to take him deep (and deeper) inside his mouth, with his hand holding the base of Ryota’s dick and stroking it slowly. Ryota closes his eyes as he senses the tip of his dick hit the back of Meguro’s throat, trying to tamp down a shiver down his back as he grabs Meguro's scalp.

His effort to stay quiet makes Meguro more determined, it seems, because he continues to do it. Meguro’s tongue now moves around his shaft, swirling and licking and sucking on it, like he would to a lollipop. Ryota bites back a moan that makes a rumble leak out of him. Somehow Meguro’s hands are now stroking at two places: his balls and the inside of his thigh. A tremor rakes through Ryota’s body as he feels Meguro grabbing his thigh so hard, as Meguro lightly uses his teeth on him. Ryota groans then, and he can hear Meguro gurgling appreciatively at that.

Meguro doesn’t pull back as he continues to suck Ryota off. His lung capacity (and non-existant gag reflex) is amazing, Ryota thinks privately. But it makes things harder for him, because Ryota can feel himself almost reaching his climax due to Meguro’s ministration. The pleasure is climbing up and it makes Ryota heady, he even forgets to pull Meguro’s head back and let go of his shaft when he comes. Ryota twitches as Meguro swallows his cum, body relaxing and drooping on top of the toilet’s lid, opening his eyes in time to see Meguro licking his spent dick like a kitten would a milk.

Like he’s still not satisfied with what they did. Like he wants more.

(It almost seems like all Meguro wants is to swallow Ryota whole.)

“Meguro.”

When Ryota calls him, Meguro stops what he is doing. He looks up and licks the leftover white fluid leaking from the edge of his lips before smiling up at the older man. Ryota stares impassively at him.

“I forgive you this time. But remember what I said.”

Meguro nods obediently at that and Ryota exhales the air he’s been holding softly.

“Good.”

(Meguro helps him clean up and dresses him up again. In the end, they do go home together–the younger man drives Ryota to his home and gets himself an invite there because what happened at the company’s toilet still needs its continuation. When Meguro tries to input the code to Ryota’s door, it beeps at him. A sign of failure: wrong code–try again. Meguro stands there, stupefied, as Ryota nudges him to make room for him. While Meguro obliges at his request, Ryota shields the keypad with his hand as he inputs the numbers.

The door opens. Ryota steps in, tilting his head at Meguro and nods his head–inviting him to come in.

He doesn’t see the satisfied smirk spreading on Meguro’s face as he follows him inside.)

.

.

Usually doing menial jobs such as photocopying files and arranging them is not something done by a manager or someone on a supervisor level. That’s what interns are for, right? But for Ryota, doing small tasks like this can be therapeutic and serves as a little break from his own work. (He can only stare at numbers and analyze reports for so long.) So that’s why he is here, outside of his office, patronizing the neighboring floor’s photocopy machine with heaps of papers and doing it leisurely.

He is not using their division’s machine because his subordinates still need to use it. Rather than inconveniencing them with his whims, it’s better for Ryota to use another. He also knows at this time the photocopier in this floor is not used, that’s why he came here.

“Oh, Ryota!!”

But Ryota forgets that this floor houses the division Sakuma Daisuke is in charge of–the creative department.

That’s why Ryota braces himself as he can sense someone is barreling towards him and feels them engulfing him in a side hug. Ryota tilts his head to his right and sees a pink head snuggling to his arm, looking like a cat who got cream by the way he’s smiling and looking up at him. Ryota sighs, helpless, as he puts down the papers he’s holding on top of the machine and reaches out to pat Sakuma’s frizzy hair.

“Sakuma,” Ryota greets his old friend and sees him perking up from his side, still clutching Ryota’s arm like a kid would to his favorite toy. “You don’t want to be injured over something so trivial.”

Ryota will always indulge in Sakuma’s behavior. It’s harmless and cute, and Ryota doesn’t really mind being clinged to like this. They’ve known each other for so long and Ryota just got used to it. He just hopes that Sakuma can act a little in moderation, because while he can withstand Sakuma’s force and boundless energy, other people won’t be so lucky. Sakuma pouts at him like a baby and Ryota laughs before making gestures like he’s about to pinch those lips jokingly.

“Meanie!” Sakuma stomps his feet as he tries to avoid Ryota’s attack, leaning back as far as he can without detaching himself. He complains, “I only did it because I missed youuu! You’re so hard to see lately…”

Ryota blinks, a little flabbergasted as Sakuma’s words, before trying to appease him.

“We can always meet during the mini-meetings Hikaru arranged, you know.” Ryota reminds Sakuma. As the division heads slash old friends, these mini-meetings serve as a way for them to brainstorm things together and catch up with each other. Lately, Sakuma more often than not is absent from said gatherings. “If you’re so busy, we can always reschedule it to fit your hours. Don’t always send Meguro to do it.”

Sakuma frowns sadly. “I know… It’s just, everytime I try to attend one, something somehow always comes up… And it’s always something I had to personally solve! So I can only ask Meme to go in my stead!”

Now it’s Ryota’s turn to frown. “Hmm. That’s weird.”

Sakuma is perking up again, now swaying in his hold as he whines. “Right!! Does God hate me or something!! Why is my luck so rotten lately!!”

Ryota is about to open his mouth to console Sakuma when he catches a figure slowly walking up to them. It’s Meguro Ren with all of his glory in a black business-smart suit, holding a zarf that contains two cups of beverages. Sakuma follows his vision and brightens up upon seeing his junior and flies out of Ryota’s arm in record speed towards Meguro.

“Memeee! Did you bring coffee for me???”

Meguro smiles thinly as he shakes his head and avoids a flying Sakuma. “No, Sakuma-kun. Sorry.” He steps around the pink man who pouts sulkily at him, before walking closer to Ryota’s direction. Ryota startles a little when he feels Meguro standing beside him, their jackets touching each other so softly. “I heard from Raul you’d be here, Date-san.”

“Ah,” Ryota blinks before nodding his head. “Yeah. What’s up?”

The younger man held his hand out, trying to stuff the zarf in his hand to Ryota’s. “I bought you coffee. Thought you’ll need it, with how your deadlines are.” He glances at the papers on top of the photocopier knowingly, before smiling at Ryota. Ryota quirks his eyebrows before taking the zarf, raising it to his eye level to check the label on the cup (and to let him sniff it, a little) because he wants to know what Meguro gets him. “Just how you like it.”

It’s long black with a dash of cinnamon, which Ryota always gets when he needs to focus during work. Ryota puts it down, looks at Meguro who smiles at him, then at Sakuma who peers at them curiously. He nods at Meguro as he gathers his finished files, fitting it all in his free hand.

“I see.” Ryota doesn’t know how to handle Sakuma’s bright eyes boring into him and Meguro, doesn’t know what to say, and thinks it’s a high time for him to retreat. “Thanks.” He says to Meguro before looking at Sakuma and smiles at him. “Talk to you later, Sakuma,” before he turns his back and walks towards the lift.

(Ryota can hear Sakuma whining vaguely to Meguro about something. He doesn’t get to listen fully, though, because the lift door closes as Meguro starts to answer Sakuma’s question.)

.

.

If there is a hobby Miyadate Ryota finds interesting lately, that is golf.

He only picked it up because Kamenashi-kun, one of the director’s board committee and also his ex-boss, plays it and often invites him to do so. Ryota is gifted in physical things and has a good sense on his shoulders so any kind of sport comes easy to him. That’s why he plays golf like he’s born to hold a club. (Not his own words, surely.) He finds it fun and it serves as a good way to network with business partners, especially the high profile ones. Kills two birds with one stone, and all that jazz.

Because Kamenashi-kun is a busy, busy man and their free schedule doesn’t always match with each other, Ryota plays golf with other colleagues too. Mukai Koji is one of them, a member of Sakuma’s division who is in charge of their company’s social media, who often accompany him to play golf together. Today is also one of those days: when Ryota and Koji are going to go to their usual golf course to play a simple game to unwind.

“Date-saaan!”

Ryota turns his head and sees Koji walking to him with his golf bag, waving his hands energetically. He smiles as he does the same while waiting for the other man to reach him. There is a sound of footsteps getting louder and louder before Koji finally stands beside him, beaming as he raises his hand to ask for a high-five. Ryota indulges him and gives him a high-five. Koji giggles and fixes the straps of his bag on his shoulder at the same time after that.

“Hi, Koji. Parked your car safely today?”

Between the two of them, Koji is the one who drives a car. He always bitches about barely having a space to park his car in this golf course and the high cost of long-time parking on several occasions, so it just crosses Ryota’s mind to ask. Koji shakes his head, still beaming all the while.

“No! Because Abe-chan drove me here.” He giggles again. His voice takes a softer tone as he tells Ryota, “He’s going to a museum near here, you see. So he offered to drive me!” Ryota swears he can see Koji almost swoon with how intense his heart-eyes are when he talks about Abe. “And he’s going to pick me up too…” Koji puts his hands on his cheeks in a coquettish gesture that makes Ryota raise his eyebrows. “Isn’t my boyfriend so nice, Date-san?”

“The nicest.” Ryota plays along with Koji’s lovesick babbles, because Abe Ryohei is indeed the kindest and nicest person he knows. But, “Abe drove you here? As far as I remember, he’s not the smoothest driver I know… You sure you're ok?” Because Abe is his old friend too, Ryota knows how rocky and reckless Abe’s driving can be. One of their peer group’s inner jokes is the collective experience of being in the passenger seat while Abe Ryohei drove on a highway, after all.

Koji pouts at him before pointing his fingers at him in an accusing manner. “Take back your words!! Abe-chan has improved a lot and I’m very okay with how he drives!!”

“Alright, alright.” Ryota laughs as he raises his arms in surrender. Koji hmmphs before lowering his arm, and so Ryota does the same. He adjusts the strap of his own golf bag before asking Koji, “Let’s go in, then?”

“Wait, not yet!” Koji shakes his head as he takes out the phone in his pocket. He unlocks it and squints at the screen, scrolling as though trying to read something, before announcing it to Ryota. “Meme’s not here yet. He told me he’ll be here in a jiffy, though.”

Ryota pauses. He turns his head towards Koji, blinking confusedly behind his sunglasses as he asks, “Meguro is joining us?”

“Yeah!” Koji answers readily, bright and unassuming. “He somehow knows we’ll play this weekend, so he asked me if it’s okay for him to join because he wants to try golf! I told him it’s okay…” Now he’s tilting his head at Ryota before continuing, “and he said he got your okay too… Why are you surprised, Date-san?”

“Ah.”

When did Meguro ask him about this? Why doesn’t Ryota remember?

“It slipped my mind, I guess.” Koji peers at him worriedly so Ryota waves his hand, trying to appear nonchalant as usual. His sunglasses help hide his expression better too, because Koji relaxes a lot after that gesture. “So he wants to try golf, huh.”

“That’s what he said~” Koji smiles as he wiggles his eyebrows at Ryota with a teasing smirk on his lips. “He told me he wants to try it because of you, Date-san! Isn’t he so sweet~”

“Huh.”

Ryota doesn’t get to comment further on Koji’s words because Meguro appears after that. Koji also notices him, because he perks up and waves his hand energetically at the younger man. He waves back at Koji leisurely as he strides towards them. Meguro is wearing something appropriate for playing golf, a black polo shirt and chino pants with a sports shoe and dark-colored socks peeking out at his ankles. They exchange pleasantries with him for a few minutes before going in.

Meguro has to rent a club because he doesn’t have his own. Good thing the course still has them in stock. It’s expensive, so Koji offers to let him borrow his if Meguro is going to join their game again on another day. Meguro accepts it with grace. Ryota doesn’t miss how Meguro keeps his eyes on him, like he wants Ryota to interfere and offer his help too, but he refuses to do so and chooses to walk a little faster to their designated spot.

They choose to do a half round so it doesn’t take them a long time to finish it. Meguro is also a fast learner, with a little lesson and instructions from Koji and the caddy he’s already set to conquer the holes. The weather is nice too, so they don’t need to hide from the sun too much and can enjoy a relaxing game together. It’s just that between Ryota who wears sunglasses and a cap and Koji with his bucket hat and sunglasses, Meguro has nothing to protect him from the UV rays.

Ryota takes pity on him. So when he puts his own hat on Meguro’s head as Koji tries to swing his putter on their nth hole, it makes the younger man stop watching their friend and turns to look at him. (Ryota doesn’t lie, he has to stretch his arms pretty far to do that.) Meguro blinks at him, confused, while Ryota just shakes his head at him.

“Don’t want the sun to burn your scalp, Meguro.”

In the meantime, Koji fails to make a putt. His whines can be heard from where they’re standing, so Ryota escapes from making more excuses by approaching him and giving Koji encouragement as the caddy does their job. Meguro approaches them too after a few minutes, standing near him as they watch Koji make another attempt, not saying a word to each other.

Three hours later, the game ends satisfyingly. Ryota doesn’t keep scores but Meguro does amazing for his first time. Koji praises him a lot for that. (Ryota does the same… although perfunctorily.) As they walk out to the lobby, there is someone sitting on the sofa there with his nose buried in some magazine. Koji beams upon realizing who is that, running almost at full speed to the sofa with open arms.

“Abe-chan!!”

The man looks up. Koji barrels towards him with a hug and Abe accepts it with an oof. They hold each other as they exchange a smile and Ryota finds himself staring at them a little too long because Meguro is nudging his side. Ryota doesn’t spare him a glance as he walks to them.

“Abe.” Ryota gives his greetings. Abe tears his gaze away from Koji (who is now leaning on him) and greets him back with a cute smile. “Date-san! Thank you for accompanying Koji to play. He’s been wanting to do that for so long, now.” Koji whines at that and Abe giggles at him before his gaze catches something at Ryota’s back. “Oh, Meme. You’re here too?”

Abe tilts his head and Ryota turns his head a little to see Meguro walking to them. He stops just beside Ryota. They stand so close, too close for his standard that their hands are barely grazing each other. Ryota almost takes a step to get away. But Meguro holds his arm behind his back, gripping so strong it almost hurts, and so Ryota stays back.

“Abe-chan.” Meguro smiles cordially. “Good to see you picking Koji up.”

Koji blushes at that. Abe just giggles again at Meguro’s remark. Ryota thinks he’s missing some context here, but that train of thought is halted because Abe opens his mouth while smiling sweetly at them. “Good to see you play with Date-san too, Meme.”

Meguro huffs. Ryota stands there blankly as Abe helps Koji up, taking his boyfriend’s golf bag to his hands as the younger man clings close to his side. Abe winks at him as he tilts his head, keeping his eyes on Meguro’s arm that’s hiding behind Ryota's back, as he comments. “So nice to see you two together. If we have more time, I’ll invite you to dinner. Alas, Koji and I have something to do later.”

“Mm, our date night.” Koji mumbles.

“Yeah,” Abe nods at his boyfriend’s words before bowing a little as he holds Koji’s hand. “We’ll take our leave first. Enjoy the rest of the day, gentlemen.” He smiles at both Ryota and Meguro, tugging Koji with him as he says, “Have a date on your own too!”

“Huh?”

Once again, Ryota is flabbergasted. Because why did Abe Ryohei say that…? Meguro just chuckles at that as they go on their merry way. He steals a glance at the younger man, who already relaxes his grip around his wrist, and proceeds to wrench his arm away from that hold. Meguro does nothing to stop him. Just letting his arm be thrown like that, staring at Ryota with that small smile on his lips.

“Wanna go on that date as Abe-chan suggested, Date-san?”

Ryota shakes his head. “I’m going home.”

Meguro chuckles at that. “Let me take you home, then.”

He stares at the younger man, seeing nothing but easy confidence and something tender in that gaze, and finds himself tired. So, so tired. “No.” Ryota doesn’t want to spend more time with Meguro after that remark by Abe. He came here by taxi, and so he can also go home the same way.

“I insist.”

But Meguro is as stubborn as he is. He won’t relent until Ryota really explodes. and Ryota doesn’t want to make a scene here. He’ll have to accept, then. Ryota thinks he can just ignore Meguro on the ride. So he grits his teeth before taking a deep breath. “Fine.” The agreement comes out as a grumble, said begrudgingly. “Lead the way, then.”

Meguro must have brought his car here to offer him that. Ryota is going to make him a mere chauffeur by then.

(Ryota does as he wants to do and doesn’t talk at all during the journey home. It’s not because he’s being stubborn, surprisingly, but because he falls asleep as soon as he sits down on the shotgun seat. Meguro has to put his seatbelt on him as he struggles to keep his eyes open.

What Ryota doesn’t know is, during a stop on their way home, Meguro stares at his face for a long time before stealing a kiss. He bites Ryota’s lips until it bleeds and licks the blood clean. Ryota doesn’t realize it until he comes home and sees the wound it left him in the mirror when he’s about to wash his face.)

.

.

“Oi, Miyadate.”

Ryota looks up from the screen as he hears a familiar voice calling his name. He finds Watanabe Shota leaning against the opened door of his office room, deft fingers slowly loosening the navy tie he’s wearing, then moves to unbutton several buttons on his shirt. It’s very strange to see Shota seeking him out in the office. While they’re usually cordial and polite to each other in work settings, their closer relation is something they kept private all these years by mutual agreement.

He is very curious. So Ryota hmms as he tilts his head and raises his eyebrows, inquiring. Shota, attuned to his body language as always, raises an eyebrow back at him. There’s something in that stare, Ryota finds, that is kind of alarming when their eyes meet.

“I heard you’ll be joining us at the get-together tonight?”

“Mhmm,” Ryota nods. Gossip truly travels fast. He only agreed to go this afternoon and Shota, who worked in a different division and different floors, already knows this. “You too right? Want me to walk with you there or something?”

Shota pouts at him like he’s disappointed with that response. “Nah.” He stops fiddling with the collar of his shirt. Now he’s rapping random notes at Ryota’s wall as he walks closer to him, like the child he is. Shota is lucky that the people in Ryota’s floor had already gone home earlier so there’s no one who would yell at him for being disruptive to their productivity. “You know that this get-together also doubles as a blind date of sorts… right?”

“Yes?” Of course he knows. Otherwise, why would he go? Ryota really doesn’t know where this conversation would go.

“Aren’t you already with Meme? Why are you joining this?”

“Huh?” Ryota blanks out. He looks at Shota like he doesn’t understand what the other is saying, because it’s true. Ryota doesn’t know why Shota thinks he’s Meguro’s… whatever (boyfriend, his traitorous mind whispers, he thinks you’re Meguro’s boyfriend) but he has to set the record straight. “I’m not with Meguro, Shota. What the hell?”

He must have looked and sounded as perplexed as he feels, because Shota just stares at him like Ryota is stupid. So, so stupid that he decides to give lengthy explanations.

“People have eyes, Ryota. They also have mouths. Meguro has been fetching you from your office room since, what, two months ago? You guys went home together almost everyday. You also went for lunch together often, right? He always brought you coffee when he went for a coffee run. He also memorized your complicated coffee order when I, who have been together with you since childhood, can’t even bother to remember.”

Ryota stares back at him, unblinking. His brain is trying to comprehend what Shota is telling him but it… just… doesn’t catch up.

“He’s just being nice.”

“No.” Shota refutes him easily, looking so done. “Don’t be stupid. No one can be that nice to a mere colleague except for a pushover. And Meme is no pushover.”

No one is as prickly as you, Ryota wants to bite back. But being pinned by Shota’s withering glare, Ryota keeps his mouth shut. Shota sighs then, his gaze now turned pitying like he just realized something from their conversation. Shota stops leaning against his wall to lean over Ryota’s monitor, hand reaching out to pat his shoulder. Ryota shrugs it off, uncomfortable with such a gesture. But Shota is stubborn: so the pats keep going.

“I think this is just a classic case of you being your oblivious self, Ryota.” Shota says sagely, like he’s suddenly the wisest person in the room. “It’s about time you stop being in denial.”

“Denial about what…”

“Your feelings for Meme, duh?” It’s the matter of fact-ly tone in which Shota said those words that makes Ryota flinch. Shota looks so smug after he catches that minute expression. “Seems like I hit the jackpot.”

No, Ryota wants to refute, there is nothing to be denied about because there are no feelings involved in the first place. The words are already on the tip of his tongue, ready to be lashed out, when there’s another deep voice piping up: “Jackpot of what, Shoppi?”

Ryota whips his head and, lo and behold, the man himself: Meguro Ren, appears in the flesh. Standing beside Shota, his towering presence almost makes a shadow casted on Ryota’s side of the table. The younger man’s gaze is pinned on him, though–tender and full of curiosity; while also trying not to be nosy, as considerate as always.

Shota smirks as he shakes his head, raising both his hands as if surrendering. “Nothing, Meme. Just Miyadate being stupid, as usual.”

Ryota almost blisters at Shota, but he manages to compose himself in time. So he just rolls his eyes at his childhood friend before turning to Meguro. “Why are you here...” It seems like Ryota always asks this to Meguro, who in turn always answers him with that soft smile and even softer approach.

“Aren’t we going home together today?” Meguro blinks at him, head tilting like Ryota’s question confuses him. “It was you, Date-san, the one who told me we’ll open the champagne you’ve been saving since two months ago.” He turns to Shota then, inquiring politely. “Is Shoppi joining us tonight?”

Ryota frowns as Shota shakes his head and waves his hand, dismissive. “Nah, I have a blind date to go to.” He sneaks a glance at Ryota. When their eyes meet, Shota smirks at him. Again. “I’ll tell Kawai-kun you won’t be attending then, Date-san, as you have a prior and sudden engagement.” Shota almost sounds like he’s gloating. Ryota frowns harder. “Bye, then!”

As Shota goes back, there are only Meguro and Ryota on the whole floor. He sighs before looking back at his screen. Work files already saved and closed, now he moves to turn off both the monitor and PC. Meguro waits for him patiently, even as Ryota takes his time to clean up. When it is all finished and Ryota is finally ready to go home, he doesn’t wait for Meguro. He goes out, just like that.

(Because even without Ryota asking, Meguro is already following after him.)

His agenda for tonight already canceled without his consent makes Ryota irritable. As he goes into the lift, Ryota tries to close the door before Meguro can get in. It fails though, as Meguro swiftly enters the lift seconds after Ryota pushes the button; unscathed. Ryota glares at Meguro because he can. Meguro just smiles at him, unfazed.

They stand together side by side inside the box. Ryota fixes his gaze at the blinking screen, silently counting as the number goes down. It will take time to reach the lobby as his workplace is placed on a quite high floor (50-something, Ryota doesn’t really remember) and while usually Ryota doesn’t mind the wait, now he is restless. Because he’s gonna be trapped with Meguro Ren inside this lift until God knows when.

Meguro Ren who, apparently, people think is his boyfriend.

The silence is not really stifling because they’re used to this–not fulfilling the space with chatters, preferring to keep to themselves as they observe their surroundings. Ryota can feel Meguro’s gaze on him, but he keeps looking up because he’s stubborn like that. Ryota doesn’t want to engage with Meguro for the time being, still confused and kind of angry at his intervention earlier, but of course it’s also Meguro who breaks this silent war first.

“I’m sorry, Date-san.”

The apology comes out of nowhere and it makes Ryota glance at the younger man. He can see how Meguro bows his head, lips bitten like he’s trying hard to swallow something. He lowers his gaze and sees Meguro’s fist clenched tightly at his side. It also sounds sincere (everything about Meguro is sincere) so that Ryota can’t help but sigh upon hearing that. He can be petty and ignore Meguro for the rest of the ride, but sadly Ryota is not someone like that. Miyadate Ryota has a fiery temper: if he’s not satisfied with something, he will talk about it. He’s also the type to embrace all the unpleasantness of confrontation: rising voices, heated arguments, spiteful words. So this is what he does:

“Why are you sorry?” Ryota can accept Meguro’s apology, but he can also ask for the reason behind Meguro’s actions. Deliberately misleading Shota to think that they are gonna spend the night together is absurd. How Meguro always appears near him with unclear intentions also doesn’t escape Ryota’s notice. “Why did you do that, Meguro?”

A slow sound of breath intake is all Ryota hears before a ting! interrupts them. He looks up and sees that they have arrived at the lobby. His destination. So when the door opens, Ryota is about to walk out. But then something is holding him back, Meguro’s hand is already gripping his wrist–making Ryota unable to go out. The door closes as they’re standing still, until Meguro punches a floor number and the lift goes on again. Ryota doesn’t get the chance to see which floor is Meguro’s destination or tries to pry that hand off him because Meguro opens his mouth at that moment.

“I don’t like it when you’re going to a get-together like that, Date-san.” If Ryota doesn’t know better, he can fool himself to think that Meguro is sulking. That big eyes blinking pitifully at him almost makes Ryota reconsider that thought. “A group blind date… Date-san surrounded by people I don’t know… I hate it.”

Ryota blinks, uncomprehending.

“And why does that concern you?” Ryota thins his lips, eyes squinting scrutinizingly. “I can do whatever I want, Meguro. You have no right to forbid me to do so.”

As far as Ryota is aware, Meguro is no one. Sure, they had sex on more than one occasion, but colleagues who sleep together don’t have this kind of behavior regarding each other. Friends with benefits don’t get to be this possessive, even when people around them think they’re already romantically involved with each other in secret.

“I have no right, you said?” Meguro is laughing now, sounding delirious and baffled. “Aren’t you mine, Ryota?” Ryota frowns at the change in how the younger man addresses him. He tries to let go of Meguro, but he just grabs his wrist tigther. “You’re mine. Of course I have a right over deciding who gets to be close to what’s mine.”

Another ting! and the door opens once again. Meguro drags him by the wrist outside, and Ryota realizes that this is the building’s basement parking lot. Ryota tries to resist, but exhaustion makes his movement slow. It takes no time until they reach Meguro’s car–until Ryota is being shoved to the backseat, Meguro sits behind the wheel, and the doors locked tight.

“Meguro, what—”

“Ssh…” There's a handkerchief being pressed to his nose. The smell of gasoline fills his nose and then Ryota can feel his consciousness slowly slipping away. “Goodnight, Ryota.”

The last thing Miyadate Ryota remembers seeing is Meguro Ren’s smile under the dim lights, like a predator finally getting the prey he wants under his paws.

.

.

The thing about Meguro Ren is that he doesn’t like the chase.

He doesn’t like people flocking to him and trying to get his attention. He enjoys interacting with people, but hates it when it’s done with ulterior motives. It’s always clear as hell when they approach him with impure intentions–like trying to get into his pants, or just wanting to make him bend and grant them their wish for a date or small compliments.

Oh, don’t get him wrong. Ren knows he’s handsome (multiple people have told him that, in different tones) and it’s one of his biggest assets. His pleasant and driven personality also attracts people from a multitude of groups towards him. It comes in handy during a job, where he has to interact with various people, but it becomes a hassle in personal time where people think they know what he wants and try to give him that–when they’re clearly wrong.

Ren only wants to start something on his own terms. He wants to have someone who keeps him interested with no ulterior motives, who sees him for who he is, who is genuine with him and who is not afraid to have their own opinion and not cater to him.

That’s why Miyadate Ryota intrigues him so much.

The older man doesn’t seem that interested in him. While he treats Ren nicely, it’s nothing personal and something he does to stay polite. He treats Ren like he treats everybody else and that makes Ren keep his eyes on him. Even after they get to know each other a little better, he still treats Ren the same: like a younger man he has to take care of because he is his colleague. Nothing more, nothing less.

Ren watches the way Miyadate Ryota interacts with other people too. How he smiles at something Sakuma-kun says and lets him cling to his side. How he helps Fukazawa-kun during the big meeting and talks with Iwamoto-kun so casually and easily. How Koji leans on him as they sit together at the cafeteria during lunch, how he gets what Abe-chan would like when they queue together at the food stalls, how he lets them spoon-feed him with various foods helplessly. How he gives Shota a furoshiki-wrapped package with a tender smile in secret, as the other man’s ears go red while accepting it. (Ren later finds out that what Miyadate gives Shota is actually a lunch package–onigiri with fillings of their childhood memories.) How he patiently gives instruction to Raul, the new intern, and guides him with all of his effort wholeheartedly.

Ren wants that–Ryota’s attention, care, love–to be directed towards him… and only him.

So he starts his own chase.

It’s not that hard to do that. Company party proves to be an easy occasion to start things because he gets into Ryota’s pants easily. He sucks him off and Ryota returns the favor by jerking him off. He left his number in Ryota’s pocket then he waits, and waits, until the fish bit the bait. Ren receives a message from Ryota two weeks after, asking to hook up. Ren is too happy to oblige and so he becomes Ryota’s friend with benefit.

As they do it, Ren finds himself to be more greedy. Only having his body is not enough. Ren wants Ryota whole. (Heart, body, and mind.)

The hard part, Ren finds, is that Ryota seems so oblivious towards his attempts to woo him. Even after all the things they do, with Ren gaining access to Ryota’s home and approaching him in broad daylight, Ryota keeps trying to avoid him. He asks to keep their relationship a secret. He asks Ren to not let other people see how he would fold and bend for him. He doesn’t want anybody to know that Ren adores him, loves him, with everything he has.

Other people have noticed their changing relationship, anyway. Why not Ryota himself? That’s why Ren takes this drastic measure after knowing that Ryota is going to attend a goukon.

Because Miyadate Ryota needs to know that he is Meguro Ren’s to take and claim.

That’s why he’s here: staring at Ryota’s naked body that he strips himself as the older man lays unconscious on his bed, licking his lips while he climbs on the mattress. He lays beside the older man, admiring the view in front of him. Miyadate Ryota no longer seems like a human with his consciousness lost: he looks almost like a slumbering God, waiting for his most devout follower to wake him up. And Meguro Ren is up to that task–anything, Ren would and could do anything for Ryota.

It’s not his first time seeing Ryota’s bare skin, but it aroused him all the same with the knowledge that all this expanse of skin is his alone to explore and worship. Ryota never lets him leave a hickey, so Ren wants to make some now. He starts by his chest, because it’s the easiest place to reach from his position. He puts his mouth near Ryota’s nipples, leaving kisses around it before taking a bite and sucking at the patch of skin there. After worrying that piece of meat between his teeth until it’s tender, Ren moves higher to Ryota’s collarbone. He sucks there too, biting the skin until it breaks and leaves another mark, before moving to his Adam’s apple and repeating the same process.

Being able to do this thrills him. Ren has always wanted to leave his mark on Ryota to declare his claim, to let other people know that this dignified man is taken by him, to remind the older man whom he belongs to. All the red blooming across Ryota’s torso now is also the way Ren shows his affection, his reverence. How ardently Ren desires him until it consumes his entire being, to make him lose his mind just a little. Although it would be even better if Ryota is awake, Ren doesn’t mind that he does this as Ryota is unaware. Because the time is ticking and only so little time left before Ryota wakes from his forced slumber.

“Mmph…?”

Ah.

It’s already too late.

Ren is latching on Ryota’s neck as he gnaws at the piece of skin under the older man’s ears when he senses the body he’s embracing begin to twitch. That doesn’t stop his ministrations, though. The proof of his prayers, dotted on his lover’s skin, has to be always renewed. So Ren keeps going as Ryota slowly gains consciousness, as the arms that used to lay limply at his side start to rise and try to push him away. Ryota struggles against him but Ren doesn’t budge.

“Ssh,” Ren whispers to Ryota’s ears as he lightly bites at his earlobe. “Don’t do that. That will hurt you, Ryota.”

“You stop this, Meguro.” Even when he’s barely conscious, Ryota’s voice always manages to send tingles down his spine. Ren shudders as he lets the command echoes inside his head, and he moves to obey his lover. He stops, as Ryota wishes. Ren pulls back just enough to see Ryota’s face–flushed from sleep, eyes bleary with a half-hooded gaze staring fiercely at him. “Why are you doing this, anyway?”

It’s the heavy voice laced with doubts that makes Ren spill what he’s been hiding inside his heart.

“Because I love you.”

It’s an easy confession to make, earnest and sincere. Ren gazes upon Ryota piously as he recites his prayers once again, now with words rather than kisses. “Because I long for you, desire you so bad, and yet all my attempts to make you understand always fall on deaf ears.” Ryota stops struggling at that sentence, so Ren continues his words. “You always pretend to not notice that I want you that way, Ryota. That makes me mad.” And that makes him sad, Ren doesn’t say. He keeps his eyes on Ryota as the older man stares back at him with a frown. “Because other people have known about it.”

How Meguro Ren is so very infatuated with Miyadate Ryota it makes him a little mad. They already think Ryota is his boyfriend, so Ren does nothing to correct that misunderstanding. Because that is what he wants to achieve anyway: making anyone else believe that Ryota belongs to him so that no one would dare to make a move to steal what is Ren’s.

“And yet you don’t.”

Meguro Ren is always subtle but also blatant in showing his affection at the same time. Ryota always turns a blind eye at any sign of that and feigns disinterest at any hints of intimacy with him and that makes Ren infuriated, it becomes a wound that festers in his heart. Ren wants to make Ryota feel guilty about it. Ren wants to make Ryota pay for it.

“I…” Ryota seems speechless by the way he gulps and sighs and lets his eyes wander around the room. Ren waits patiently as the older man formulates his response. A few beats pass before Ryota parts his mouth. “I never thought you would see me like that…”

“Because we started as friends with benefits?”

“That plays a part.” Ryota sighs. Ren holds him close, never once detaching his hands from Ryota’s waist as he listens. As Ryota closes his eyes, Ren stares at that face and thinks that the older man really looks like something holy whenever he does that. “I also just thought that it’s impossible, because it’s you.”

Ren blinks in surprise. “Me?”

“You.” Ryota smiles thinly. This time he stretches his arm out to reach Ren’s face and caresses his cheek so tenderly, so softly it makes him shiver. “There is no way someone like you would see me that way, I thought. You can have anyone you fancy… but you want me?” He chuckles humorlessly at that. “It sounds like a joke even to me.”

“But it’s not a joke.” Ren says adamantly. “I’m serious about this. About you.”

“I know that now.” Ryota shakes his head before continuing. “I just don’t dare to assume. That seems so… far-fetched.”

Their eyes locked. Ren leans forward tentatively and Ryota meets him half-way, making their lips touch lightly. It takes a few seconds before they dive into a second kiss, this time deeper and messier. Ren kisses Ryota like he wants to steal his breath with the way he’s gnawing at his lips. With how he let his tongue entangle with Ryota’s and suck it loudly, how he chases a slipping saliva to Ryota’s chin and leaves a bite there. Ryota allows him to do those things this time, and that makes Ren so elated.

“I’ll show you, Ryota.” Ren promises as he presses more kisses on Ryota’s face. “I’ll show you how much I want you until you believe that it’s all real.”

His God has heard his prayers and granted his wish right now.

What more does Ren want?

(Oh, he still wants more.

He is selfish and greedy like that. But Ren can take it slow. He still wants to savor all these emotions slowly–he still has time to make Ryota truly, really belong to him and unable to leave him anymore. Patience is his biggest virtue, after all. As long as Ryota is in his hands, Ren doesn’t mind waiting a little longer.)